The Problematic Portrayal of Jewish Women in Netflix's Nobody Wants This

In Nobody Wants This, a television series on Netflix, a rabbi, Noah, falls in love with a non-Jewish sex and dating podcaster, Joanne. All my Jewish friends recommended it to me, and when I watched it, my abs were in pain from giggling. Noah and Joanne's characters are hilarious, and their chemistry is unmatched. As a Jew, the show’s Jewishness creates a cultural sense of relatability for me.

However, when explaining the plotline to non-Jewish friends, I realized that almost every one of the obstacles Joanne faces somehow goes back to the actions of a Jewish woman. Joanne is slut-shamed by Noah’s sister-in-law, who is a Jewish woman. Joanne is manipulated by Noah’s mother, who is a Jewish woman. Joanne is competing with Noah’s obsessive ex-girlfriend. Spoiler alert! She’s a Jewish woman, too.

The Jewish women we meet throughout Nobody Wants This are portrayed as male-obsessed and manipulative villains. The Jewish men, however, are almost portrayed as something women should fight for, as a prize to seek out. They’re funny and witty and charming. We root for Joanne to win over Noah, to win over his friends and family. At one point, we even root for Sasha to leave his wife for Joanne’s sister, Morgan—another non-Jewish woman.

Let’s explore the portrayal of Esther, Noah’s sister-in-law and the Jewish female character with the most screen time. At the beginning of Joanne and Noah’s romantic story, the pair go to a bar with Noah’s brother, Sasha, and Joanne’s sister, Morgan. The first time we get a sense of Esther’s character is when she shows up at this bar to pick up Sasha. She screams at him to get in the car and, in the process of terrifying her husband, she also slut-shames Joanne—a woman she had never met. As soon as we meet Esther, our impression is this: she is obsessive and toxic in her marriage, she has a lack of respect for non-Jewish women and isn’t afraid to slut-shame a woman she doesn’t yet know, and overall, she seems kind of… evil. Esther, just in this one small scene of introduction, is portrayed as a “psycho wife.” She is villainized and portrayed as anti-feminist.

Later, Joanne attends Noah’s basketball game. Esther and the other Jewish wives gather at a bar afterward. Joanne approaches the table of Jewish women and immediately Esther gets up and exits, the other wives following behind her. The women leave Joanne socially isolated and humiliated. This brings up another classic stereotype women are placed into: cliquey, mean, and exclusive.

A few episodes following this, Joanne and Noah come over for dinner at Esther and Sasha’s house. At the time, Esther’s daughter had been preparing for her bat mitzvah. It quickly became clear to viewers that Esther’s daughter is unhappy with her mother’s choices for her bat mitzvah party. Joanne, attempting to make nice with Esther, talks about how cool the bat mitzvah theme sounds. Immediately, Miriam feels better about the situation, viewing Joanne as a role model. The second scene implies that Esther doesn’t connect with her daughter. Viewers question her choices as a mother and a wife, and not only is Esther portrayed as an inconsiderate mother, but Joanne (the main character who is a non-Jewish woman) is portrayed as the savior of Esther’s daughter. She immediately connects with this child in a way that Esther hadn’t.

One of the few scenes in the synagogue forces us to victimize Noah as he attempts to escape the social niceties the Jewish mothers have forced him into. They line up to introduce him to their daughters, and this is how the “typical” Jewish woman is portrayed. Joanne never really has to win over Noah’s father’s respect. Noah’s mother is the one who won’t accept a non-Jew for her son.

Nobody Wants This idolizes Jewish men, but I can’t think of a single Jewish woman whose entire purpose in the series doesn’t revolve around a man. The assumption one could make, after watching this show, is that Jewish women hate non-Jews. Jewish women are anti-feminist. Jewish women are male-obsessed. Jewish women are manipulative and cold. Jewish women are incapable of being good mothers. I hope season two portrays the Jewish women characters more complexly instead of flattening them to negative stereotypes.